no fucks to give

well crap (and other things)

I remembered that I paid for this. Hmm. I mean, it was only like $60 or something for the year but still. I really need to stop impulse buying, especially when it comes to blogs that I am into for like three seconds and then quit.

I am keeping my night shift hours all the time now. Or at least most of the time with exceptions when I have to do daylight people things like go to the doctor. It’s already helped a lot with my sleeping and energy. So if I don’t answer you over phone or text or whatever during the day don’t freak out. I’m just asleep. Please direct all day time emergencies to Beau.

I really should be playing FFXV right now, or really any other video game in existence, but instead I am sitting here refreshing the Server Status page for FFXIV every five seconds. Day one back playing FFXIV: I picked up a different work day and only got to play for an hour or two before work. Day two back playing FFXIV: server maintenance. WHY.

Tumblr was pissing me off so that’s why I’m using WordPress. I’ll just steal things from Tumblr and post them on Twitter. Screw you Yahoo. Also screw you Blogger. The comment system there is a travesty to the internet.

I’m off Zoloft now. I still feel a little weird but it’s hard to tell if that’s a Zoloft detox thing or a night shift thing. I’m hoping that my doctor (a) won’t yell at me and (b) will help me with losing all this anti-anxiety drug weight. It’s been hella nice having my higher emotions back though. Now instead of people thinking I’m a sociopath they will know I am just a very angry judgmental person who only cares about myself. Win!

So far I’m not regretting my decision to go off it. With therapy, incense, and a lot more tools in my chill-the-fuck-out box I feel like I can handle the down days. Maybe even the way down days. If all else fails the great thing about living an opposite life and only working three days a week is that I can give life the middle finger and pretty much just sleep whenever the hell I want to.

I do miss Beau though. This year I’m going to try and switch a Saturday/Sunday shift to have a Saturday off at least once a month so we can have a whole weekend together. I’m also going to start sleeping a lot less on Saturdays and Sundays. Then once I have some PTO saved up I’ll just take staycations here and there without the stress of doing a four twelves in a row to get the next weekend off. I gots dis.